Contemplating the time since the last Blog
written on the 23rd of September:
So 20 months have passed since the looking
out, while looking in blog posts. I read them with bittersweet nostalgia. Too
much pain and tragedy have touched my life and left an indelible mark. The ass
has shrunk considerably but so has the belief that all is possible. I would like
to believe that it will return, but right now I am weary and more than a little
battered by life.
My beautiful daughter was involved in a nightmarish car accident and nothing has ever been the same for me. I did my ususal pattern of strength in the face of adversity, I held it together and then a year later started coming apart at the seams. Now the problem with coming apart at the seams so much later, means that its impossible for anyone to join the dots and perceive that I had deep post traumatic stress.
Sadly, the old addage has been proved to be painfully true, misery doesn't attract company...
those I thought would always be there, have vanished one by one, and those I didnt know would, have stayed the distance.
But hey, I am still standing, even if its only just...
And now I sit about to leave my family and travel to Saudi Arabia to teach English. A sacrifice of note; an adventure, no doubt and a personal challenge of mammoth proportions. So I am digging deep, certain that this will be a paid retreat, a time to regroup, to heal and to meet myself by myself and perhaps I will be able to come out of the other side, ready to tackle that bucket list!
My beautiful daughter was involved in a nightmarish car accident and nothing has ever been the same for me. I did my ususal pattern of strength in the face of adversity, I held it together and then a year later started coming apart at the seams. Now the problem with coming apart at the seams so much later, means that its impossible for anyone to join the dots and perceive that I had deep post traumatic stress.
Sadly, the old addage has been proved to be painfully true, misery doesn't attract company...
those I thought would always be there, have vanished one by one, and those I didnt know would, have stayed the distance.
But hey, I am still standing, even if its only just...
And now I sit about to leave my family and travel to Saudi Arabia to teach English. A sacrifice of note; an adventure, no doubt and a personal challenge of mammoth proportions. So I am digging deep, certain that this will be a paid retreat, a time to regroup, to heal and to meet myself by myself and perhaps I will be able to come out of the other side, ready to tackle that bucket list!
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